[Re:] Senior Banquet

So, I was looking around for a post that "caught my eye". Well, I clicked on a few and found one that made me think. Brianna wrote a post about the day of senior banquet. 

" Anyway, so yea, I burned my hand. It was hella painful and it bothered me a lot."

     Alright, well..I'm sorry that you burnt your hand, that sucks! Trust me, I would know from years of burning my hands, arms, neck, and even my face from using the hair straightener.  It's terrible, but I'm sure you looked great, anyways.


     But, the reason I picked this post is because I'm actually pretty pissed off at myself for not going. I was in the mindset that I wouldn't go to any of the school events this year besides prom and graduation, but after I missed the banquet, I realized it was kind of stupid not to go. I saw all these pictures, and I thought, "well..hey, everyone had a great time, I wish I was there."
     I mean, after we graduate, most of us are going to be going to do bigger and better things, so why not make the best of it? We should have the best time we can together while we still have a chance. In ten years from now, I don't want to look back and think, "hm, what did I do senior year? Oh, right! Nothing." I want to be able to remember this year, and the next few years as the best times of my life.  We're all still young, we should make the best of it while we can.
   No matter what though, I'm going to prom. My reasoning behind this is because last year, I went to Junior prom, and let me tell you, it was the WORST night of my life. Because of that, I really want to go this year to make up for last year, so I can remember having a good prom. I'd rather not have to mention what happened last year because it's a really long story, and most of it I shouldn't bring up on this post, anyways. 
   But yeah..I can't wait to graduate. 

[Ce:] Don't Ask, Don't Tell

This article/video states that the "Don't Ask, Don't tell" policy is now repealed.

        Honestly, I’m glad that they lifted “Don’t ask, Don’t tell”. It doesn't matter if you are gay, lesbian, transsexual, or whatever, as long as you do your job. If a gay man wants to be in the military, then he should be allowed to be in the military and not have to live in fear of getting caught for his secret. As long as he does his job like everyone else. He should not get treated worse or better because he has a different sexual orientation. Just like any other job that a person would apply for. 

       Don’t let your views and feelings interfere with your work, just do your job and save your opinions for another time. A homosexual man or woman in the military is not hurting anyone else, as long as they do not push their feelings on someone else. Once they interfere with other people who aren't comfortable with it, problems will arise. Same goes for straight men, if they push their views on homosexual men, problems with arise in this case, too. 

      People should be able to feel comfortable doing something that they like, and not have to be in fear of getting hurt or killed over it. Everyone should get along, regardless of how they live their life. 

[Free:] Just a Thought

     Have you ever looked into someone's eyes and thought to yourself, "I want to be with this person for the rest of my life"? Or shared a moment with that person, and realized that nothing in life could get better than that second in time?

     What happened to that? Nowadays, every one is getting a divorce. It makes me worry about our future generations. Is anyone going to work through the hard times, or just bail when it gets hard? Relationships are about compromise. There are supposed to be challenges and rough patches, that's what makes it all that much better in the long run. During those hard times, two people work together as one to achieve happiness, and they get stronger and learn more about each other throughout the process.

     There is no point in being with someone if you are just going to pick up and leave when it gets rough. What does that make of you? A coward. You're just scared of working through it because it's too hard and you might get hurt. Take a fucking chance and live a little! You're never going to fully enjoy life if you don't experience the bad times that come with it. Life isn't just a big rainbow, if you're going to be happy, then you're also going to have to deal with the bad times too, otherwise you're just coasting through life, not fully experiencing it's full potential. 

    Another thing that really bothers me: Cheating. Why do people feel it's necessary to cheat on their partner? You're not going to get anything good out of it. If you are in a committed relationship, why would you screw someone else? I know that being with someone for a long time leads to boredom, but it doesn't allow for someone to cheat. If you feel so strongly about seeing other people, then be mature and talk to your partner about it. It's not that hard. If your partner really cares for you, then you guys will work something out. 

    I just wish that people would be mature and talk to their significant other about their problems rather than just bailing on them and leaving them in the dust. It hurts, trust me. Most of the time, there is some kind of compromise or deal that can be worked out. But people these days just get too lazy or scared to actually work for something substantial. 

"You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give."

                                         - Eleanor Roosevelt

[Bi-Monthly] College Essay Prompt #2

     I'm very passionate about music. Every aspect of it intrigues me. The melody, harmony, tempo, dynamics, and rhythm are all concepts that I am familiar with. Because of that, I felt the need to musically express myself when I was younger. I played a few instruments over the course of my life. I started out playing rhythm with the drums. To me, drums are the basis for most kinds of music; keeping time and tempo and adding style to any music. I began playing only on my free time; taking lessons and learning where to hit to get different sounds, and what each piece in the drum set was. However, I felt that there needed to be more.
    I joined the marching band in middle school. Drums were great, but I felt I needed to try another instrument, as well. At that point, I picked up the saxophone, and immediately fell in love. I enjoy the fact that, with the saxophone, you can freely play a solo and it will usually sound good, and you can play whatever notes you want. I liked being in the band because, I got to express myself through music, as well as play arranged music with a group of people that I considered my family. We would go on trips together to perform in different venues. When the school band would have performances and fundraisers, I would volunteer to go early, stay late, as well as help the younger students trying to get a handle of the art. I did a lot of "behind-the-scenes" work, which made me appreciate the music even more.
    After middle school, I went back to a form of individual expression. I attended an event, and witnessed a woman play a song she wrote. The beautiful melody from the acoustic guitar was absolutely magnificent. Although I still played drums and saxophone, this event motivated me to pick up the guitar. I taught myself songs by reading tabs from books and websites. After I had acquired a good sense of playing songs, I started writing my own songs as well as lyrics. I would occasionally bring my guitar to friends' houses and we would play together to put together different aspects and melodies, making something new.
     This form of personal expression has helped me cope with things better. I noticed that when I am stressed, playing or writing music helps me get out what I'm feeling. I feel much more free and relaxed after I play. It is as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Being able to cope with stress as well as other emotions has allowed me to focus more on other people. Rather than being consumed by my feelings or problems, I am now able to concentrate the dilemmas that other individuals have so that I can help them. It is a great feeling, being capable of successfully helping and aiding in solving the problems that others have. This not only allows me to understand myself better, but others as well.

This wasn't written well...It sucked.

[Re:] Plans for the Weekend

I read Zach's post about his plans for the weekend.

Well, it definitely seems like you have a full and exciting weekend ahead of you.

" I want to go biking with Dongho and Jose to go to Bay Farm and then go to theparks and run around and do stupid crazy things."

Biking is definitely a super fun thing to do, so kudos on that. And doing crazy stupid things is also always great to do. Have fun with that.

Well, I guess I should write about what I plan to do on the weekend, right?
    Uhm, Friday, I plan to hang out with some friends, probably look around for a party to go to, maybe have a little get-together somewhere, I don't know. I was planning on going to the Island Bowl, but I'm not so sure now that if I want to go, it really depends on my other friends and if they are going or not.  
    Saturday. My buddies always meet up and play football at the park, and I've been going recently, but I haven't really felt like playing, mostly because it's a bunch of huge guys tackling each other, and I'm tiny compared to them. I prefer to just sit back and watch. But I did promise my buddy that I would play, so depending on if he remembers that or not, I might. I'm thinking about going out of town afterwards.
    Sunday is my favorite, even though its the last day of the weekend, I love it because it's always hella chill. Sleep in, leave late, come home early and sleep more. It's the best. I usually just go get coffee and see who's around, but I'm probably going to end up watching movies at my friends house.
    I'm looking forward to sleeping, it's the best.
    I obviously have trouble making concrete plans, so I usually just wait till the morning of, and if someone calls me, then I'll go do that. I'm going to see what happens.
 

[Free:] A's Game

     I love baseball. I've always liked watching it, and I used to play with my neighbors and friends. Of course, I would always go to an A's game. But I haven't gone to one since freshman year, I don't know why. Other things just took priority over baseball, I guess.
     I was talking to my buddy about how much I love baseball and decided that him and I should go to a game before the season is over. So, he bought tickets for last weeks game. I tried paying him back, but he wouldn't tell me how much the tickets were. It was us against the Detroit Tigers.
    Anyways, we took the bus over to Fruitvale and took BART to the Coliseum, since my dad had the car. There were tons of people there. They had this whole free t-shirt thing that if you signed up, you'd get a shirt that had the A's on the front, and Chevy on the back, which is basically my two favorite things in the world. But, I didn't end up getting one.
    So, we get to our seats, and they were pretty kickass. Right along the third baseline, which apparently are really good seats.
    The game that night was Star Wars themed. I have no clue why. But, the mascot, Stomper was dressed up as Yoda, and there were Storm Troopers walking around the aisles. It was pretty funny.
   Oh yeah, and this family got married on the field before the game! I thought it was cute, probably hella expensive to pull that shit off, though.
    There was this guy, I forgot his name, but he agreed that he would run a whole marathon during the course of the baseball game. He ran the whole time on a treadmill, I'm not sure if he made all 26-something miles, but I know that he forsure got past 20 miles. That's freaking intense.
   Some of the stadium lights went off for some reason after a few innings. And apparently, if the lights are off, they won't allow the teams to continue playing. Luckily, it wasn't too dark yet, but we had to sit there for 10 or 15 minutes while they fixed the lights.
    We ended up losing the game, but it was fun anyways. And it was fireworks night. Everyone got to go on the field and watch it, which I've never been able to do, so I had tons of fun.

[Ce:] French Women Fined for Breaching Veil Ban

Paris court issues its first ruling on controversial new law passed in April after parliamentary approval. So, let me get this straight.. There was was a preceding article on this stating that: Someone will be fined if they are "wearing the Muslim niqab or burqa in public" Apparently wearing the veil is a symbol of "male oppression"? Anyways, so, this article that I chose states that two women in France chose to wear the veil (which covers their whole face) and were in defiance to this new ban. They were both fined 200 euros.      I'm positive that I am NOT the first one to say this, but this ban is not cool. They are basically taking away certain people's rights to individuality and freedom to have their own religion and culture.    It's like French people going to a country with Muslim beliefs and them saying, "no, you're not allowed to dress the way people do in France, you have to dress differently".    However, I sort of understand maybe why they put forth that ban. Maybe it's because since it's their country, they want anyone that lives their to follow French tradition? I'm not sure. But it sure as  hell doesn't condone that ban. At least that's how I feel.    People are always going to have different beliefs and cultures, and I think that no matter what, they should have the freedom to express that as long as it does not impose on someone else. Like, if those women wearing those veils tried to force other women into wearing them, then that wouldn't be okay. But the thing is, is that these women aren't doing that, they aren't hurting anyone or anything by wearing those, so why have a problem? If they like it, then let them do it.

[Ce:] "Deaths in Attack near Kindergarten in China"

This post is about a guy named Wang Hongbin, making a deadly assault in China on Wednesday.

"A man armed with an axe has killed a child and three adults as they made their way to a kindergarten in central China, officials say. "

Okay, so this is just shitty. Just think about it. Yaknow, you're probably on your way to work when you are dropping off your child at daycare like any other normal day, and then bam. You're dead. Or your child is dead. From that moment on, nothing is the same. And it's sad, because they probably did not do anything to deserve it, they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"'According to locals, the suspect Wang Hongbin has a history of mental health illness,' the statement said"

This is a perfect example of why I'm interested in Psychology. He has apparently had a history of a mental health illness, okay that's understandable. But what about that compels him to kill people? And how is a mental illness allowed to be an excuse? That's what I want to know. I want to learn and figure out what kind of processes in the brain manage those things, and where it goes wrong to give someone those ideas and thoughts.  I wanna know why people do the things that they do, and how is it fixable. I'm sure that if he had some sort of treatment for his mental illness, those 4 people might not have died that day. But who knows, it could have still happened.

[Re:] "Bucket List"

This is in response to Grace's "Bucket List".

        "SHIT TO DO BEFORE I KICK IT:

-Finish a novel
-Live abroad
-Live in Seattle
-Visit Egypt
-Learn an instrument
-Fly a plane
-Publish a novel"

First of all, nice choices! 

     -Finish a novel? So, does that mean you already started one?  In my eyes, that takes a lot of motivation, which is something that I don't have. 

     -I would LOVE to live abroad. One of my life goal's is to travel the world and see everything. I could only imagine how different it is in another country and I actually want to experience it first-hand at some point. My grandfather was an avid travel when he was alive and before he died, he would always tell me stories about the pyramids in Egypt, and the European countrysides, as well as many other things. It totally inspired me to see it all with my own eyes.

      - You want to live in Seattle? That's a good choice. For some reason, every time I think about that movie, my mind switches to 'Sleepless in Seattle' with Tom Hanks. It was a really cute movie. Anyways, the one place that I want to live is either Savannah, Georgia, or Skagway, Alaska. Two COMPLETELY different places, but equally amazing and beautiful. 

      - I agree, I'd like to visit Egypt to. I think that would be awesome. But I heard it's really hot in some areas, which sucks because I can't handle high temperatures very well. It would totally be worth it though.

      - I love instruments. Honestly, go for it. It's an amazing feeling the shit that playing music can do to a person. I used to play the drums, and guitar really well. And although I hate to admit it, I played the saxophone for 4 years, too. My favorite was the guitar. I loved it. To me, it's a really good stress reliever. But, I don't know. Ever since my mom moved away, I haven't picked up any instruments. I regret doing that, because I could have continued playing and getting better at it, but I didn't. And now, if I want to start up again, I need to re-learn everything I previously knew. 

       - So, the whole "flying a plane thing" sounds really cool. The concept of it is great and I think you should totally do that. But for me, nah. I'm staying the hell away from planes for a long time.

I think I should make my own bucket list. Maybe I'll think about it for a while and post something later. 

[Free:] Road Trip

     I'm supposed to be driving out to my mom's house during Christmas break. Normally, I would being taking an airplane over there, which is about 10 hours total travel time.
     I really can't stand airplanes anymore so I think it would be fun to drive there. I would be driving for a total of about 5 days, probably. Which includes stopping for the night to sleep.
     Money is going to be huge problem, though. Budgeting for food, and gas, and sometimes a place to sleep. That's going to suck. I've been trying to to get a job, in order to save up for this trip, but no one is hiring.
     My original plan was to take a train there. The train would be leaving Emeryville on a Monday morning, and I would arrive near my mother's house at around midnight on Thursday. I thought about it, but then I realized that I'd be stuck on a train for those days, not having the freedom to get off and, for lack of a better term, 'explore' my surroundings on my way there. And that's only to have a seat on the train, not one of those little bunk things where I could sleep.
     So, I want to drive. I think it would be a great experience.            

     I kind of really like it at my mom's place. It's so different than being here. There, it's just beautiful. Everything is green, and there is countryside as far as the eyes can see. Not to mention, the people are amazing. That whole "southern hospitality" people talk about is very true. Everyone is really hospitable and nice. And things are at a different pace there. Things go just a little bit slower than here (except when people drive, they drive REALLY fast there). The whole feeling of being there is totally relaxing.
      The only thing there I cannot stand, (besides the food, cause that sucks, too) is the fact that my mom's house is 6 hours away from the coast. I never fully appreciated living so close to the ocean until I spent time somewhere else. They all think that they've got it so great because they live 6 hours away from the coast and 5 hours away from the Appalachian Mountains, and then I'm like, "well hey, I live right next to the ocean and if I want to see the mountains, all I have to do is drive the other direction a bit."
     So, I've really grown to appreciate where we are in relation to the water. It's nice to be so close. When I'm at my mom's I feel trapped cause all there is, is land basically. But hey, don't get me wrong, it's beautiful there, it really is.

[BiMonthly:] College Essay First Draft

           When I was younger, my mother was my role model. She would have a great answer to every possible question I could think of and she would understand everything. I was inspired to grow up just like her; driving to work in feminine attire with a big heavy briefcase. That's what I wanted to be. But then, I realized that, more than anything, I wanted to be able to understand and help people. I was fascinated with how the human brain works and I would wonder about how people think and understand things. Curious as to what compelled people to act a certain way and do a certain thing. I wanted to know these things in order to help people. My mothers' success inspired me to take my own path and create a successful like of my own, just as she did. 
           I loved to spend time with my friends, like any normal child. But there was one thing that I enjoyed more. More than anything, I loved to spend my afternoons and evenings in the library reading. It brought me a sense of peace and calmness. Sitting there for hours, comfortable at a table, piles of books around me, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. I lived for those days. At first, I had started out reading story books, but as I got older, I became more interested in factual books. Intrigued by the human brain, I began to read books about psychology. I used what I learned from these books on my friends and it allowed me to better understand them. My eyes were open to a whole new concept.
          I want to make it my job to have a difference and change people's lives. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I have an impact on someone. That is why I would like to have a career in the field of Psychology, more directly, a Clinical Psychologist. I want to follow a career where I can enjoy myself, as well as enjoy what I am doing. To me, that is the most important thing in life. I plan to go to college and Major in Psychology so I fulfill my dreams.
        The concept of phrenology and  its expanding frontier of  new medications, information, and studies to  understand the  invisible processes dictated by the brain, thinking, emotions and imagination, is fascinating.
Getting involved through conferencing and talking to people about their thought process, emotions and imagination is a hands on profession that is progressive. I want to help people not only understand themselves but why they act the way they do, make the decisions that they make and comprehend their inner emotions.
        I want to work under the category that involves people because I like interacting with people. To me, it's a hands-on profession. Rather than working with just new medicines and drugs, I can interact with people on a personal level. I want to know what goes on in the human brain and how it can be changed.

[Re:] The Road

A response to Jazmin Bravo's blog post about fears:

        To me, fear never really used to be a problem. There were quite a few things that I didn't want to do or was uncomfortable doing, but I never really considered any of it a fear. Those things were more of just an obligation than anything. I'd easily get over and realize it was never a big deal.
        Then, after a...for lack of a better term, "very uncomfortable" event, fear completely consumed every aspect of my life. I started getting really bad anxiety issues and panic attacks all the time. I had no clue how to control it. Imagine living through your worst fear, and that's basically how I would feel during a panic attack. Worst feeling ever. And it would be tied into certain things, for example seeing something that sparked a memory would make me panic.
       I started getting really tired of spending my days in fear and risking having another panic attack. Then someone very wise told me,

"You know, if you let it consume you, you'll never fix the problem. You have to be the strong one and overcome it all by your self, because you are the only person that can fix it."

       I took my friends advice, and presto! Well..not exactly "presto".. But, anyways, my fears started to slowly subside. It's a great feeling knowing that you can overcome a fear.  

       Don't get me wrong, I still occasional get panic attacks and have small fears, but it's no where near to what I dealt with before. But with what Jazmin said :

"The road to overcome a fear or insecurity may be long and difficult, but it is so worth the trip."

        I couldn't agree more with this statement. It has so much truth behind it. No matter how hard and rough the journey is, the outcome is always worth it. Always. 

[Ce:] Scores killed in Russian plane crash

Scores killed in Russian plane crash - Europe - Al Jazeera English

So, this post really caught my eye.

Before I say anything, let me just note that I have been on 18 planes in the past year. No joke. I constantly go to visit my mother who lives on the east coast, so it's two planes there and two planes back every time. As well as the ones that her and I take together to go traveling while I'm visiting her. So needless to say, I've been on my fair share of airplanes. I've never really liked planes that much. For example, I'd stay up for a few days beforehand just to make sure that I can sleep the whole plane ride. It never really got to be a huge problem for me, but it still terrifyed me to be on a plane until this summer.

We were on the plane getting ready to take off and all the sudden I got a terrible panic attack. Which is weird for me. All I remember is being in the worst amount of fear possible and thinking that for some reason I had to get off the plane. It was crazy. I actually went up to the flight attendant and begged her to let me off the plane. But of course, I was stuck there for the next 4 or 5 hours till the layover in chicago. ANYWAYS, while on the plane, there was an abnormal amount of turbulance and the plane felt as if it was dropping straight down for a few seconds then it would go back to normal. People started getting scared, kids started crying, yaknow, that whole deal. So, it basically was a terrible experience and I'm now deathly afraid of planes.

My point is, is that, I really do not think planes are very safe. I don't like the concept of flying hella high up in the air and being stuck with a bunch of people in a small space for a few hours. And the chance of it crashing, like this? That's crazy! And it's also terrifying. There are so many things that could happen while on a plane, so why do it? I mean, these people died for shits sake. I feel bad for them. Their familes now lost someone cause of some accident. That sucks.

[Free:] Tattoos, Anyone?

I like tattoos. I have yet to get one of my own that is professional, but I plan to. This past summer actually, I was supposed to get one from my mother’s tattoo artist. He’s amazing. He tatted my mother’s whole back in this beautiful rainforest scene and it looks absolutely amazing. She’s actually still getting work done on it, after 40 hours in total so far. Usually sittings from about 4-5 hours at a time, though. But anyways, I decided it was probably a good idea for me to wait, aside from other things that kept me from getting it.

Not very many people this age realize how permanent tattoos are. Yaknow, they’d get a tattoo of a logo to their favorite band, or some other person’s name, and all I can think of is, “really? Don’t you realize you are going to have that thing FOREVER?” It’s like these people can only imagine a few months maybe a few years into their future.

                Anyways, I’ve been thinking about my tattoo design for quite a while. I haven’t perfected it yet. But a really good friend of mine is helping me design it, because, well..he draws a lot better than me. It’s going to be some form of a Celtic design that goes along my back. That way, I can easily cover it for jobs and other obligations.

And that’s another thing. Why do people get tattoo’s on their faces? Even necks for that matter. It’s like, really? Come on. Do you really think you can get a good job with tattoo’s on your face? No one wants to hire someone that has that shit on their face, or hands. At least get it where you can cover it with a shirt. But that’s just my opinion. Other people can do that if they want, but I wouldn’t.  I like tattoo’s, but not that much.

[Free:] Oh, I'm Sorry, Did I Break Your Concentration?

Honestly, I’ve never done this kind of thing before. This whole “blog” thing. I never really saw myself being the type to write in a blog for the whole word to see. But I’m willing to give it a try. I just don’t exactly know what to write about. I guess I’ve got a pretty bad case of “writers block” because I’m sitting here trying to think of something mildly interesting to say..

Well, here’s something. That essay. I don’t know about you guys, but for some reason, my mind is just not letting me write anything about it. I haven’t even gotten the slightest clue as to what to write in it. I can’t even think of words to start the damn thing. I guess I’m afraid. This IS the essay that I’m turning into universities, anyways.

I took the SAT last year, and I did decent. At least I thought it I did. I was under the impression that  I could just apply to some little state schools, get accepted, and breeze on through. Then, bam. The past few weeks, I have been flooded with emails, letters, and brochures from Universities across the country. Like, what the hell is this? Why do they want me? A group of 10+ of Universities from random places. But trust me, I KNOW that a lot of other people are getting these too, because these colleges are just recruiting everyone they can, partially to collect out of state tuition from us. But it feels nice to be recognized by all these other places. So I thought to myself, “hell..i might as well apply to a university, just for shits and giggles, and see if I get accepted.” And that’s why I’m doing this essay. Normally, I’d just say screw it, but I think that I should try this time.

            And for the longest time, I was sure that I wanted to major in business. It paves the way for a lot of jobs in my future. But at the same time, it’s really generic. Everyone these days majors in business. I want something different; I want to be recognized for something other than that. So, last year I was thinking about something I really want to learn about and it hit me. Psychology. I’m so intrigued about how the human brain functions, like what makes people act a certain way, why do people do certain things. All these things have always made me so curious. I want to get older and be able to understand people and help them out. I love helping people.

So.. I guess I know what to write in that college essay now.